I echo everything everyone has said above. If you still feel so bad about it now, suicidal thoughts and everything, I really think you should seek help. I know it's helped my hubby immensely over the past few months.
The worst experience in my life to date has to be my husband nearly being killed 7 months ago at work. He was removing a skip from a house with his wagon when the ground gave way and the wagon crushed him up against a brick garage. He's now suffering PTSD and it has affected the whole family more than anyone knows to be honest. I too went through a time when I felt really bad, on one occasion thought about throwing myself under a car to get away from it all, but we're slowly getting there. He says I'm his rock and that I'm helping him to get through the hard times but he's in limbo at the moment, can't even consider working for at least 12 months, struggling with the shoulder that was damaged in the accident and generally feeling that life has nothing left for him. He's undergoing therapy for the PTSD but suffers constant flashbacks and nightmares which make him stop up to all hours in the morning because he's scared to go to bed. I really thought I was going to lose him that day and thank my lucky stars every single day that he's still here. They always say that there's always someone worse off than you, in this case it's my husband.
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